To do, or not to do? That is the question. Well no, it isn’t for the gentleman for he is someone who takes action in life, is decisive, and makes appropriate well thought out decisions.
EXT. APARTMENT – EVENING
A rather nice but not flamboyant car pulls up outside the building. You sit inside, wondering for a moment. You’re wearing sunglasses. You look at your watch.
YOU: Ten minutes early. Should I go up or not? Maybe she’s not ready?
You climb out of the car. Still wearing sunglasses. Your suit looks amazing though and freshly pressed. You check your image in the window. Should you wear the glasses or not? You defer the decision until you get inside and bump into a wall in the darkened foyer.
CUT TO. HALLWAY – EVENING
You knock at the door. She answers looking stunning and you lean in and kiss her on the cheek.
SHE: I’ve been waiting for our date all week. Where shall we go?
You hesitate awkwardly.
YOU: What do you want to do? We could drive and see what’s open?
SOUND EFFECT: Record scratch.
If you’re going somewhere with someone, have a destination in mind. Have a plan. Yes, spontaneity is good too, but keep it to situations that work. If you decide to spontaneously go out to dinner — that’s romantic. Walking around for an hour deciding if you feel like Italian or Chinese, isn’t. Just taking off for a weekend away is impulsive and adds a little necessary uncertainty to life. Just check the town you’re going to doesn’t have an insurance conference on first — or that there are still some vacancies.
Think a situation or problem through. Make a decision and own the decision.
If someone asks for your opinion on a topic — have one. If a woman asks you which dress she should wear — red or blue — give her an answer. And no “they both look fine,” isn’t an answer. Both dresses may indeed look fine, but that isn’t what she’s asking you. She’s asking you for a decision.
A gentleman doesn’t just wait for things to happen or wait for others to decide their fate. He does.
As we’ve already suggested a gentleman is accommodating, considerate, helpful and fundamentally of service — he isn’t a doormat. Because he is acutely aware of himself, he knows what he wants and what he doesn’t, and is clear about it. He knows his limitations too and has no qualms about saying “No” or laughing off unreasonable requests.
You will be busy and have priorities. There’s not just the priorities of the work day, but also your own “work”. Time spent for yourself on improvement, as well as being there for those important in your life. So you cannot say “Yes” to everything asked of you. Therefore know how to say “No” in a kindly way. You don’t want to be an indecisive person who constantly breaks promises you made to others because of you over- commit, and you certainly don’t want to be the guy with no opinion or backbone. When you do say “Yes” to select tasks — people will know that it’ll be done passionately and effectively.
Let it be done.